by

I am your wonder man

I am your wonder man

 

I am your wonder man

Who wonders if you if you ever loved me mam

And If you ever did then, when?

 

I am your man lady

Who makes you wonder could he be that crazy?

Who makes you wonder is it true really?

 

I am your wonder man sister

Whose heart has been sinister?

and maybe vain to have fallen for such a pretty picture?

 

I am your wonder man baby

Who makes you wonder if I will treat you like a lady

Or should I fly for I am a little birdy?

 

Yes I am your wonder man baby

What we are is strange and powerful

Me and you are wonderful.

by

I pray for the power to say ok!

Image

Yes it’s true

 

Please give me the power

The power to say it is ok

The strength to accept my faith

Please give the power not dream of change

I pray for the power to say ok

 

Please give me the power not fear the end

The power not to depend

The strength not to fear reality

I pray for the power to say ok

 

I pray for the power of acceptance

The power to accept me

The power to accept others

 

Please give me the strength to yes

Yes it happening

Yes it has happened

I pray for the power to accept death

 

I pray for the power of truth

The power not to hide in denial

A pray to face the truth

 

The truth is right in front of me

It is always in front of me

But I cannot say yes

 

I have learnt that there is power in changing things

We make our reality they say

But I have had it with this war

I pray for the ability so yes

 

Yes you’re the one

Yes I am not the one

Yes its not my time

Yes it is not a crime

To say yes and let it be ok

by

Why should we not develop the I Nkandla? Learning to speak South African style.

Why should we not develop the I Nkandla? Learning to speak South African style.

While watching the news yesterday I was reminded that South Africa has it’s own language. This language is usually fuelled by hate and race politics so when we speak you may not hear us. Lets start with Manyi telling coloured people to spread across the country and leave the bloody cape alone. There’s a need for Coloureds in other parts of the country he tells us. So there are a lot of things you could be hearing from this statement. Is Manyi going on another racist rant? Is Manyi just out of control to tell a whole nation that they are frustrating him? He was not looking happy when he was saying this but Manyi never happy.

The truth is that in this country we have employment equity. Some of the rules say you must have 45% must women, thirty percent must be African and so on and so on. Just imagine if all the women were in the Northern Cape boring province I know but bear with me. How the hell are you gonna meet your employment equity requirements if all the skirts are in that boring as kak province? So Manyi was not talking out of his behind but were in south Africa you see, so you might just not hear us.

Parliament wanker asking about the development the development is balmy. What they are saying is that they really don’t care about the rural people who live there. Maybe they should stay underdeveloped because the president is from there, right? Maybe the president coming from there is actually a curse not a gift to the people of Nkandla. Who doesn’t give back to their own town anyway? Sports people do it all the time. Ask any celebrity if he doesn’t get calls from community leaders and wankers alike asking him/her to help in some development project for their home town ASK THEM!

You can’t keep driving in an un tarred road going home when you’re the minister of roads and other stuff! It just sounds crazy. That’s like owning a butcher and feeding the kids fish. When giving back you can only give what you have. This attack has nothing to do with Nkandla it’s all about talking crap to the commander in chief. Oh I forgot to ask, are the people of Nkandla not tax payers or are they not south African? Maybe when the president comes from your home town you automatically become a foreigner. Just imagine sitting at the bar with your mates and bam a candidate from your own town wins ze election and bam your ze foreigner, everybody leaves the table because you know what “we don’t drink with foreigners”. Get serious

So if you listen closely you will hear that they are saying is F the people of Nkandla as long the presidents loses we are happy. As long as we get to make him look bad even at the expense of the unemployed its cool. Then we bad mouth him about service delivery. Not everyone is from a developed place and common sense dictates that everyone will try improve his or her community.

But if you are balmy as well you would think that these people have your interests at heart. Well let me tell you Dumbo, what better use is there for the money? Which are deserves it better? oh let me guess the area that could not produce a president right? Way to invest.

In closing, I say that I will drop dead if I am the president and I visit my friend then when I wanna take a dump I have to drop it in a whole in the ground. DROP DEAD I tell you DROP DEAD.

 

Just imagine the head line president fall into ditch toilet!!

by

Drive me wild.

Drive me wild.

The problem with these bus companies is that if the bus engine has a problem, you paint the bus. Then should the driver complain “there’s a problem with my brakes!”, manager “what bus are you driving?” driver “no 34!”. Manager “impossible, we just painted that bus last week”. Driver “but the brakes don’t work properly” manager “hey, I saw that bus this morning it’s very shinny”.

Driver “I think there’s a problem with my left tire” manager “noted!”. Manager “ sbu go pump that tire and put some nice polish, then shine it”. Driver “has the tire been looked at, by the mechanics?” manager “sure thing buddy don’t you see it shining?”.  Driver “I have shinny shoes with holes, shiny doesn’t equal quality” manager “if you don’t shut your trap and stop wasting company time you will soon also have a hole in your stomach buddy!”

Driver “my windscreen wipers don’t work”. Managers “grab this”. Driver shocked “what’s this manager?” that’s my old high school jersey you can use it to wipe your windows in the meantime. Driver  “What if it rains hard?” manager “Come on your going to that dry part of the country there’s no rain” driver “but what if?” manager “I remember your CV there was nothing about you being a weather forecaster there, so if I were you id shut my trap”.

Driver “hello manager” manager “make it quick, I am in no mood for your constant complains” driver “but…..” manager “tell me, do you like your job Dlamini, it is Dlamini right” driver “Yes” manager “answer me then”. Driver “yes I do want my job” manager “good, go do it then and let me do mine!”

Staff meeting

Manager “I would like to encourage everyone from the cleaning stuff to work harder and keep our fleet shinny. To our engineers and mechanics’ I would also like you guys to them overalls and tools clean. I personally hate oil so no oily spanners lying about. You guys have to keep this area nice and tidy.”

“To my favourite employees the spray painters I am very proud of you guys. My buses look new as ever well done. Lastly, but least to my complaining members of my staff, namely the drivers. If you guys reduce the brothel stops you’d save on brakes and you’d arrive on time with my buses. But no you guys are out there running amok starting tribes and ruining my “condomise campaign”. Our save it for the wife campaign last fell on deaf ears.”

“I am tired of answering calls about child support and new borns’ who need to meet their fathers. Stop parking my buses behind trees near misty rivers so that you can get some sugar. the moisture is corroding the metal. Reduce the laying with young women that leave you tired and sleepy on the roads. If the girl is too much for you stop it. The fleet is our livelihoods don’t misuse it and come here and expect my mechanics’ to get dirty because of your dirty deeds. We all know that these guys can’t pull up their pants please let’s not encourage this barbaric behaviour.”

“To the drinking members of my staff don’t drink and drive my bus. I will not bail you and your many children will have to visit you in jail should you get caught. Stop risking peoples lives and most importantly my fleet. I do not like wasting good money that could be spent painting my buses on court cases, lawyers and cheap brandy because you can’t think sober. So lets agree to stay off the good stuff.”

“Finally we have a bus coming in today, I am hoping that it will bring in more value to our company. I am handing this bus over to my most trusted employee, Mr Kantolo. He has driven for me for many years. I could have given him a bus with three wheels he would have driven it. I could have given him a bus with no roof he would have driven to the ocean and back dry and having delivered the passengers. He has lost his eye on his third accident when the brakes failed we know it was the taxi drivers fault forcing Kantolo to brake to early that bus had brake distance of a mile. Let this be lesson to all you complaining folk in my staff, loyalty may take your eye but it get you a new warn bus. Done”

by

The art of chasing skirts.

The art of chasing skirts.

Men in general are not happy to let an opportunity pass them by period. Especially a woman. It is for this particular reason that we have been discovering ways upon ways to attract the attention of a potential mate. There are about 18 million ways of doing this, and I am only quoting for South Africa seeing as we have 49 million people eating and crapping in South Africa. Its called an ecological kak print.

Let’s start with the whistle, these turn to differ with era and part of the world from which one comes. If you are from the sixties you enjoy this form of communication because it says your smart. Generally you would generally whistle at the lady as you give chase. Most modern women do not take kindly to construction worker behaviour, so use with care. After all she is not a taxi!

The arm brake generally used by tsotsi’s and tsotsi enthusiast alike. This would entail being in the young lady’s path. Just as she passes next you grab hold of her arm and say something sweet like baby, as you twist her hand behind her back. This will disable the young lady and clarify the positions held by everyone in the about to be relationship. All the while you can show your affection by using a firm grip. Should you require particular questions to be answered in a particular way, feel free to use the arm as weapon for attaining desired results. Release hand when desired answers have been attained.

The stare, this one is usually used by people who are either very sure of themselves, gay or who want to steal someone else’s woman.it can work wonders if you know how to convey massages through your eyes. So should your eyes meet it is customary that one person will go to the other to develop the reasons for the staring. Though sometimes it would be girls/boys partner who will come to declare war on you, with great power comes great responsibility remember. Usually positive signs involve a smile from the recipient of the stare. It is a preferred communication among gay circles. If you are in a gay club, don’t be shocked when you hear “hi I saw you starring at me, wats up?” this will lead to an awkward laughs or a deep kiss in a dark corner bj’s anyone?

The sit by the bar routine. Ideal for one night stands. Basically you go to your nearest watering hole, convenience is everything. Get your favourite beverage, milk and juice not suggested. The lady whose also looking for a 1ns will come and ask you the universal question “can you buy me a drink” or you can go flaunting your pockets by asking dangerous questions like “can I buy you a drink?” the trick to this behaviour is to know your skank target. So as she sips her drink you look for that fluffy look, which should come at about the third beer from a woman that does not drink that much. If it looks like she is just quenched a thirst a of lifetime run! What are the signs of this type of woman you ask? Well if she takes long uninterrupted gulps at her drink and comes out from beneath the cup looking satisfied run! If you say what’s your drink? And she mumbles something about you getting a lekker brandy run! Should you trip and she helps you regain your balance with one hand and does not excuse herself from you” jam-face” run! Ps if it’s a man you just bought a drink don’t get complicated, just call him cute wait for a response. Probabitilies: range from fists to a definite banging happy hunting.

Brothel route, this is for all people with interest and careers in commerce. Routine is everything if you gonna buy the girl of your choice. But it is in this area that many of my commerce brothers excel the best, they can negotiate a girl from two hundred to fifty buck and get the same deal for their’ friend. So you just stare at the merchandise she will likely come to you to offer her services simple. Two things are important in these areas hide money in your left sock and location location location! If the place is way dodgy the price will be the same. If the joint is classy so will the price. How do you find these areas you ask? All the old men in bars know all these joints. I personally have gotten two offers to be taken to some of these establishments the classy one’s mind you! This sort of area is suggested for getting what you can’t get in your normal society. Examples include foreign women, women from other races, trannies, older and younger women. And if you are shallow enough that you can’t maintain relationships. Ps don’t get addicted nothing is worse than walking a couple of miles to a brothel with the exact amount for one round, if you’re thinking of doing this  please turn around. There have been cases were brothers come after three to four pushes, the look on your face is priceless.

And no! She will not do you any favours.

The social media route, which is ideal for perverts, rapists, traffickers, shy people, desperate people and of course the ugly people in our circles. Generally you choose one of the online communities and upload a profile in which you lie, lie, lie. This will increase your chances so take note A. upload a photo of a model (hopefully they are dead) B. lie about your career, no point telling people you are a receptionist no. no. no. you are a junior advocate at a prominent law firm or better yet, you model for teen magazine and Cosmo. First shoo the children out of the room then put the brandy glass down and type C. single with no children D. do not smoke and drink. E. then say you’re a family person.

For the guys chose good careers like golf player, owns farm, CFO, CEO, manager of something. Tell them you like sport. You love the church. You have zero kids though you paying child support. You live in a prominent area, don’t say flat ever.  Don’t forget to add some dodgy achievements, best employee for 20… you also love the environment. Input all the above information and you will guarantee yourself A. tree huggers B. church goes C. gold diggers D. career women E. maybe a friend with benefits if you lucky. Remember that I am encouraging you to lie because all the women who know the real you have not been impressed. I am your friend not foe.

Ladies and gents just don’t get trafficked into prostitution or a sweat shop in Venezuela. Guys don’t be herding cattle in South America or find yourself as an underground boxer (most fights are to the dearth namely yours). Don’t find yourself as a male sex slave in brazil and getting pimp punches from your three gay pimps. They may want to test the merchandise every now and then so to get out of this profession just make sure you get used up quickly and get sent to the dagga fields. At least here you can get high and forget all about it. If you learn the local language you have a chance of getting a promotion to translator/sex slave. So as you text the model from Cape Town, don’t go into that dodgy flat. She will say help me with my door and stand behind you then hit on the back of hand and watch your is fall to the floor. Two smack to communicate brothers will come in to finish the job. Smack! Shut up smack! sit still smack! suck this. My advice, bite the thing and get shot in the head. Done.

by

What happened to cartoons?

What happened to cartoons?

What happened to cartoons really? I have been watching telly in the day time and only finding young girls pouncing around on some whacky TV show. So kids have to watch other kids play than play themselves, are you serious? TV is another way of saying I don’t feel like running and eating ants, grass and braai forest rodents. It says I wanna raid my dad’s liquor cabinet, eat choclet and watch telly tabbies. But no our kids have to watch other kids play really? That’s why you will have chubby adults, you won’t excise just watch the excise video. It’s called learnt behaviour. And then you wonder why some of these teen celebrities fall into the hands of chubby chunky rich old men. Well think who else has time for daytime television except people who have tons of people working for them digging holes into the earths’ crust.

No imagination

Cartoons are about imagination that’s why most geeks find themselves inventing stuff that the chubby people use. They spent their young days watching wonders about other planets and super powers and as adults became super powerful. These people went to create most of things that did not exist, why you ask? Well they grew up on stories about things that did not exist, see the pattern? But no children have to suffer some show watching other good looking kids have a joll. Really how sadistic can you get? These kids used to be sheltered from the life they could not lead. Now they get to be reminded of how unpopular they are by watching life as they rarely ever experience it. So for these kids it’s off to the games and online chat rooms about suicide and death.

Cartoons were about heroes, fantasy and learning. The online world is about the search for companionship and it is fUll of freaks. So now our kids are out meeting strangers because they are looking for companionship when back in our day the telly was your friend. I can tell you that there are a lot of people that have been directly raised by the television. The key is TV is not really about reality, we have reality already you see. These reality game showS “come meet your favourite singer” are the reason we will raise a generation of stripers and dancers. That’s what they are watching so that’s what they will aim for “singers”. Give them singers they will want to sing. Can’t sing then dance. Can’t make a good living dancing for a good singer then dance with a pole.  

What about the kids who do not have cartoon network? Stuff them or are you saying they should stuff each other? Can’t watch cartoons what is one to do? Experiment with drugs maybe? Oh go play outside that’s what’s really your best option, you may become the next soccer star and help your team win the mvela leaguer. Go run in THE bush and play with electric cables; you may be stealing them in the future you see. Oh even better this will be your introduction to electrical engineering, if you survive. I can just imagine you telling your success story “see there were always cables running about in my street this is what got me interested in cablE theft or engineering”

The bushes are also another place to rest your young gentle feet and have them be introduced to thorns. Just be careful of the rapist who will offer you candy and want you to lick while they watch. Don’t believe the odd unemployed guy whose’ offering you money if you accompany him as he goes picks berries; in this case you are the berries so bare that in mind, your very fragile young mind. Chase snakes and kill birds just don’t point those sling shots at each other’s eyes, you’d hate to be a pirates fan by default. Oh before I forget do start a fire that may grow wild and corner your best friend or burn down the homeless guys’ plastic and grave shelter.  

Just go exploring man holes those things are the dragons that your day care teacher was telling about. The government just hates digging holes and no one gets buried, so this is the governments trap for you. He wants your parents to know that he has a dug a hole for the new electric cable. So either you get killed by drowning in faeces or by electric shock, more reasons to be an electrical or civil engineer. If you succeed you can say “I always admired the open cables in my neighbourhood, all open and majestic in power”. If you do not succeed you can say” cable theft has been a survival tool in my neighbourhood for years, I grew up around open cables’. Should you become a civil engineer you can say “this sh@# made my childhood hell”. If don’t succeed just steal the closure of the man-hole and bring neighbourhood to its prior glory you can even say “I grew up on this SH@#”.

Finally if all fails get the neighbours kids and make your own kids. Then get crappy jobs that lead to crappy salaries that will not be enough for cartoon network. Leave your kids to go to work, so they may fall into a man-hole, get shocked by an electric cable, raped by a mad man, get kidnaped to go make Gucci or they can just make their own kids and continue the cycle again worse times.

by

forgiving and getting

I never watch forgive and forget (because I don’t like people telling me what to do, especially if its e-TV read erotic television) but I am fascinated by that look people have on their faces when the bus/taxi leaves them behind. It’s like shock meets really shocked. It is true that next to the punani the face has a lot of muscles or is it the other way round. Does not matter I like both features in a woman. The facial expressions always tell a story and I am going to take this opportunity to regale on the stories I believe go on in people’s minds as it becomes clear that they are not forgiven and may be forgotten. Page 1.

 

Door shuts truck/taxi/carry them all drives off.

The expression

What I see, you bloody unkind whore after I try to embarrass myself in front of the whole country you still not forgiving what? Last I checked you cared about what people think (that’s why I knew you would never tell people that I sold the telly for some smack) but here you are leaving me here standing. Damn I really thought this plan would work, eish television is risky business man. Ok ok ok what now? Do I cry? When will this brandy hit me, I need tears! Curse you cheap stuff, why am I not mellow? Oh well I tried, smiles at presenter. Smiles at himself “I am famous” my inyanga (spiritual guide traditional style) did tell me she would lead me to great things.

 

Guy holding a rose

Door shuts

This is person is devastated looks around for a look of comfort, but finds none. He is heartbroken and the camera man loves it. He thinks maybe the khumbi/bus is coming back, I am sure she is coming back. Bus drives on, he’s look becomes desperate, please come back he’s eyes say. Flower has become reasonably heavy he can’t seem to hold on to it. Looks at presenter but she can’t help him, he is sad. She is coming back right? The expression says.

Voom goes the bus

Mr cool

Mr cool smiles looks at presenter and mumbles something about giving someone time to heal. He won’t give up trying. Dude did she just reject you on national television how worse can it get? What did you do? Did you rape her cat or spilled the milk way too many times? Then it hits him that chilling thought, did she ever love me? But Mr Cool can’t handle such emotions. Looks at presenter and wonders why he should answer more questions from her? She is a failure you see, couldn’t bring back the X. he starts swearing, to hell with you guys, he thinks.

 

Oh did I mention the videos, just call these men crying. Then it’s the little speeches that usually involve a lot of the following words. I miss my family well you didn’t miss them while you were drinking. I really love you Loraine but you loved the cocaine more remember? I miss what we had oh really now? Have you finally beaten your internet addiction or was it porn addiction, here’s a test, read this statement and tell me what you think “she rode a wild young pony”. Still think you’re cured? I was a fool and selfish and yet here you are on national television embarrassing the both of you selfish prick.

 

And as for the presenter who is apparently cute I’d like to say to her that, she better be happy sa is not Sparta because she would be in a deep dark whole. After someone kicked her in the abdomen and screamed this is Sparta. And the men either want a hug for hugging sake or they’re just really beaten up especially the divorcee. Why would you want someone who took half your stuff back anyway, got new stuff? Gift of the givers neh! But the girl has got a tough job you see.

Here’s what usually plays out, she picks up some unsuspecting victim usually female. Puts her into a truck/big vehicle and says “ you remember that guy who used to call you slut and burnt half your clothes” and the victim is apprehensive at this stage she may even start feeling the cigarette burns on her left arm. Oh yes she remembers. Then misses cute gets into second gear and asks the victim to watch a video from Mr ill burn your arm because my team lost he’s team is probably a chiefs fan and enjoys watching his Boo try block his attacks and using that pirates cross bow approach. What I figure is that most people don’t wanna see their tormentors but we have a cute presenter. I hear that wild animals don’t attack babies, so maybe being cute does work. Personally I would have kicked her in the belly.

 

Now in comes perpetrator in his best attire no doubt in his most loving and sincere voice. He wants you to risk your life again, it’s all in the name of good sportsmanship, are you game? Although he generally plays rough, you had some good times remember! No don’t expect a question mark here abusers don’t roll like that. Now victim is facing both the camera and a bustard on wheels. It’s as if the perpetrator is saying you can’t hide from me, I’ll even rope in some TV show if I want to get hold of you. Now the victim retells the tails from hell and is generally distraught wtf. Cute lady will ask if she would like to take a chance and be a punching bag some one more time. Who knows maybe he has changed. And you the viewer have stare at the cute girl trying to persuade the bruised woman/girl/wife to go in for one last round. Now e-TV starts to stand for extreme TV.

So you watch some little conversation between the sadist and the might be masochist and you wonder what the devil is going on? If she has a back bone that was not broken by some major abuse from Major cruel, She will stand her ground and free a gazillion other woman. If she does not have it in her she will be persuaded. People actually do stop acting up at times so we are all mostly optimistic, I am usually not a part of this crowd. My advice, don’t  give him wine to celebrate. Hide his gun, if in the burbs have a taxi on speed dial, If you do not live in the burbs hide a knife under your blouse, he punches stomach you hold stomach and vwala he is faced with knife. Then go for the nearest law clinic good luck.

by

No it’s not a love letter

No it’s not a love letter

Thinking of writing this chapter nearly sent me straight into a bloggers block ag. Please don’t say that was short you girly bastard. The size issue is a problem, longer columns longer this and that kak! This peace is about homosexuality just in case you want to back out, for you will be offended, yes I aim to offend it can be fun. It gives me the opportunity to pick sticks into peoples brains give me that that mushy that gooey stuff (smile). Now that the scene is set let’s go!

So where do homosexuals come from?

So if you read original man you will remember that Eve was made from Adams’ rib together with mud. So from this natural we came to the conclusion that someone was actually masturbating by sleeping with themselves essentially. If not masturbation then it was surely incest, ill let you have your pick I won’t do everything for you lazy. Self-pleasure or pleasure from your own kids is kind of the same to me. One blood! Dre I see naughty people.

So the next thing we notice is that Eve is essentially created from Adam a man by himself and Adam then slept with Eve. So Adam was sleeping with a man namely himself I know ridiculous. But before you start vomiting and poking your own eyes out as they have led you to blasphemy, bear with me.

The question I am posing is what the hell is so strange about homosexually really. See your science has told you that when babies are made there are repressed and dominant genes. Dominant gene will show and repressed gene wills not biology. So then if your Pa had green eye genes and your mother had pink. If your eyes are pink then mom’s genes are dominant.

Temperament has a lot to do with your families’ gene pool, loony swearing and fire loving individuals tend to be from the same family but not all the time. You may take from recessive gene in your family and be the weakling that gets pushed around bullied by the rest including the household pet eating only your shoes. Everyone may be black and one sister is as light as day. So basically what I am writing about is that genes have a brain of their own but no you think otherwise right.

Well let’s start here why don’t we start making ourselves taller, while we at it grow our penises eish here’s the size issue again. But guys would be tripping on their own junk if we really could choose. What about all the ugly people wouldn’t they rather have gottern the same gene’s for facial features that they see on their relatives if not worse from their siblings. Cause if you got a pretty sister you have a lifetime of people coming to your house, table and bedroom whose intentions are to talk to your sister not both of you true. Who would put themselves through this torturous process if they had a choice who? But come sexuality you gotta be able to choose oh you retards.

What causes one brother to be a rock star and the other the guy packing bags at the mall, is this by choice? So you choose to pack for the ladies while the other packs the ladies? So genes do what ever they want you see, make big sister sound like a brass band on steroids while the younger sings an angel. See one can be a writer of romantic novels and the other sibling spells Mississippi as misisipy happy? People are just a product of their genes and that’s how it is with everything. The genes are not interested in what you want. So think about this the next time you tell yourself that someone wants to be ostracised or oustrosised as spelled by brother Misisipy.

 

Phase two I dig in deeper (oh boy). If temperament has a gene cant attraction? What if the dominant gene is from your mom who love’s men, but you’re a boy. Impossible, really so all the other genes can choose to go willy nilly but not the attraction and sex organ genes? So the attraction and sex gene will always go together, or maybe I am totally of track and you geniuses have it right all along attraction is directly from the sex organ. So what actually happens is that your penis is the cause of your attraction to women. So you are actually controlled by you sexual organs. This sounds great until you ask, why does a mute man’s mouth not attract his vocal cords to kick it up notch? Hell if that’s the case and the body knows that it has got to make you sexually appealing to the opposite why give you them damn green out of course teeth? Oh but you got a big bum ok. But I hope your genes remember to make you attracted to big bum loving chumps even if they like smacking more than your bum. Oh but the genes gave low self-esteem instead really why are they torturing you? really.

So there is a good chance that homosexuality has a lot to do with adam sleeping with himself. Then there’s the biological determinism approach which tells you that gene’s like to play games on their hosts just make your life fun. All I am saying is that if your genes can make you make one guy invent the telephone, what is impossible. And if you think I just called Adam a homo jah I think I did.

by

Mud technology part two having fun yet?

Mud technology part two having fun yet?

Well actually the real title of this piece is woman as currency. See now that we have established the whole mudding dynamics thing and you know the deal namely man rib + mud= woman good stuff.ps yes I can do math. So let me let me tell you this story to set the pace. Single Father buys a truck load of sand and other building materials. Tells his teen kids that they won’t be sleeping in the same room anymore because he is building then a bigger house. Kids are happy and they are off to school in the morning. The father gets out of bed and looks at the sand in his yard and he thinks to himself “mm make woman or build house?” kids come home from school and see that the building hasn’t started and walk into the house. They find their father inside the home with a big smile on his face as he says “kids meet your new mom”.

In your life have all the soil that you have walked on looked the same? No sir not me! See sand cometh in many shapes and forms. See when man have sand depending on the nature of the sand one can make a better or crappy if not scary woman. And for the slow among the crowd yes you! Sand and soil both make mud kabish. So it came to pass that there was prime and crap sand. And prime sand was harder to find than crap sand. Woman made with prime sand were prime woman the best.

So areas with prime sand were sealed off and that was the beginning of sand mining. So light sand for light bitches, green sand for freak bitches and so on and so on. What do I prefer? Purple sand. So men got creative in their mudding ways and attended courses on improving their mudding abilities. Motivational speakers had a field day and I quote “you can make that perfect bitch just believe!) Applause from the crowd and cash in the bank ps. I hate this crowd. So if it could be turned into mud it could make woman.

So brother got creative, I know this one guy who grinded coal and made the meanest badest blackest bitch in the land. Why? Because apparently black shine in the dark. I personally think that he thought she would turn into a diamond girl (not bitch) in the future. Crazy thing is that when it was dark he seemed to be walking with ghost cause one could only see the colourful clothes, but not the woman. The villages called him a witch killed him and burned his coal biatch.

And the beaches were filled with men mudding new woman. The coast guard had to be looking out for sharks, drowning drunks and mudding permits. The beaches were filled with kids making sand castles, girls in bikini’s and grown men mudding Graca Mitchel the nerve. And most of the drowning skunks would actually be just tired folk trying have that under water sand makes good skanks. “One more bucket” is what he will say after you give him mouth to mouth.

Rich guys will be running the streets with gold and silver woman. The BEE type will have to settle for bronze, why? Because we know you not really rich. Then there was my friend who used building plaster to make his biatch, she was cool for a while because she was silverfish, but she went hard on him. You won’t believe where his member was when he called on me to come help get this rigid woman off him or was it him out off her. All I am saying is that my friend is a freak.

Oh did I mention you can also make trannies god is good. Just tell her to hide IT from the neighbours freak.

I will leave you with the lyrics from the Chordettes  Mr. Sandman song
Songwriters: Ballard, P;

Bung, bung, bung, bung, bung
Bung, bung, bung, bung, bung
Bung, bung, bung, bung, bung
Bung, bung, bung, bung, bung
Bung, bung, bung, bung, bung

Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream
(Bung, bung, bung, bung)
Make him the cutest that I’ve ever seen
(Bung, bung, bung, bung)
Give him two lips like roses and clover
(Bung, bung, bung, bung)
Then tell him that his lonesome nights are over

Sandman, I’m so alone
Don’t have nobody to call my own
Please turn on your magic beam
Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream

Bung, bung, bung, bung

Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream
Make him the cutest that I’ve ever seen
( From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/c/chordettes-lyrics/mr.-sandman-lyrics.html )
Give him the word that I’m not a rover
Then tell him that his lonesome nights are over

Sandman, I’m so alone
Don’t have nobody to call my own
Please turn on your magic beam
Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream

Bung, bung, bung, bung

Mr. Sandman bring us a dream
(Yes)
Give him a pair of eyes with a come-hither gleam
Give him a lonely heart like Pagliacci
And lots of wavy hair like Liberace

Mr Sandman, someone to hold
(Someone to hold)
Would be so peachy before we’re too old
So please turn on your magic beam
Mr Sandman, bring us, please, please, please
Mr Sandman, bring us a dream

Bung, bung, bung, bung