The art of chasing skirts.
Men in general are not happy to let an opportunity pass them by period. Especially a woman. It is for this particular reason that we have been discovering ways upon ways to attract the attention of a potential mate. There are about 18 million ways of doing this, and I am only quoting for South Africa seeing as we have 49 million people eating and crapping in South Africa. Its called an ecological kak print.
Let’s start with the whistle, these turn to differ with era and part of the world from which one comes. If you are from the sixties you enjoy this form of communication because it says your smart. Generally you would generally whistle at the lady as you give chase. Most modern women do not take kindly to construction worker behaviour, so use with care. After all she is not a taxi!
The arm brake generally used by tsotsi’s and tsotsi enthusiast alike. This would entail being in the young lady’s path. Just as she passes next you grab hold of her arm and say something sweet like baby, as you twist her hand behind her back. This will disable the young lady and clarify the positions held by everyone in the about to be relationship. All the while you can show your affection by using a firm grip. Should you require particular questions to be answered in a particular way, feel free to use the arm as weapon for attaining desired results. Release hand when desired answers have been attained.
The stare, this one is usually used by people who are either very sure of themselves, gay or who want to steal someone else’s woman.it can work wonders if you know how to convey massages through your eyes. So should your eyes meet it is customary that one person will go to the other to develop the reasons for the staring. Though sometimes it would be girls/boys partner who will come to declare war on you, with great power comes great responsibility remember. Usually positive signs involve a smile from the recipient of the stare. It is a preferred communication among gay circles. If you are in a gay club, don’t be shocked when you hear “hi I saw you starring at me, wats up?” this will lead to an awkward laughs or a deep kiss in a dark corner bj’s anyone?
The sit by the bar routine. Ideal for one night stands. Basically you go to your nearest watering hole, convenience is everything. Get your favourite beverage, milk and juice not suggested. The lady whose also looking for a 1ns will come and ask you the universal question “can you buy me a drink” or you can go flaunting your pockets by asking dangerous questions like “can I buy you a drink?” the trick to this behaviour is to know your skank target. So as she sips her drink you look for that fluffy look, which should come at about the third beer from a woman that does not drink that much. If it looks like she is just quenched a thirst a of lifetime run! What are the signs of this type of woman you ask? Well if she takes long uninterrupted gulps at her drink and comes out from beneath the cup looking satisfied run! If you say what’s your drink? And she mumbles something about you getting a lekker brandy run! Should you trip and she helps you regain your balance with one hand and does not excuse herself from you” jam-face” run! Ps if it’s a man you just bought a drink don’t get complicated, just call him cute wait for a response. Probabitilies: range from fists to a definite banging happy hunting.
Brothel route, this is for all people with interest and careers in commerce. Routine is everything if you gonna buy the girl of your choice. But it is in this area that many of my commerce brothers excel the best, they can negotiate a girl from two hundred to fifty buck and get the same deal for their’ friend. So you just stare at the merchandise she will likely come to you to offer her services simple. Two things are important in these areas hide money in your left sock and location location location! If the place is way dodgy the price will be the same. If the joint is classy so will the price. How do you find these areas you ask? All the old men in bars know all these joints. I personally have gotten two offers to be taken to some of these establishments the classy one’s mind you! This sort of area is suggested for getting what you can’t get in your normal society. Examples include foreign women, women from other races, trannies, older and younger women. And if you are shallow enough that you can’t maintain relationships. Ps don’t get addicted nothing is worse than walking a couple of miles to a brothel with the exact amount for one round, if you’re thinking of doing this please turn around. There have been cases were brothers come after three to four pushes, the look on your face is priceless.
And no! She will not do you any favours.
The social media route, which is ideal for perverts, rapists, traffickers, shy people, desperate people and of course the ugly people in our circles. Generally you choose one of the online communities and upload a profile in which you lie, lie, lie. This will increase your chances so take note A. upload a photo of a model (hopefully they are dead) B. lie about your career, no point telling people you are a receptionist no. no. no. you are a junior advocate at a prominent law firm or better yet, you model for teen magazine and Cosmo. First shoo the children out of the room then put the brandy glass down and type C. single with no children D. do not smoke and drink. E. then say you’re a family person.
For the guys chose good careers like golf player, owns farm, CFO, CEO, manager of something. Tell them you like sport. You love the church. You have zero kids though you paying child support. You live in a prominent area, don’t say flat ever. Don’t forget to add some dodgy achievements, best employee for 20… you also love the environment. Input all the above information and you will guarantee yourself A. tree huggers B. church goes C. gold diggers D. career women E. maybe a friend with benefits if you lucky. Remember that I am encouraging you to lie because all the women who know the real you have not been impressed. I am your friend not foe.
Ladies and gents just don’t get trafficked into prostitution or a sweat shop in Venezuela. Guys don’t be herding cattle in South America or find yourself as an underground boxer (most fights are to the dearth namely yours). Don’t find yourself as a male sex slave in brazil and getting pimp punches from your three gay pimps. They may want to test the merchandise every now and then so to get out of this profession just make sure you get used up quickly and get sent to the dagga fields. At least here you can get high and forget all about it. If you learn the local language you have a chance of getting a promotion to translator/sex slave. So as you text the model from Cape Town, don’t go into that dodgy flat. She will say help me with my door and stand behind you then hit on the back of hand and watch your is fall to the floor. Two smack to communicate brothers will come in to finish the job. Smack! Shut up smack! sit still smack! suck this. My advice, bite the thing and get shot in the head. Done.